Why Marriage?

I have recently heard several different young people in my life say that they never want to get married.  While I am all for individual choice, this idea makes me so sad.  There are many proven benefits to marriage.  Research has concluded that marriage has great personal health benefits.  Everything from lower blood pressure to higher levels of life expectancy.  Marriage can help a person be happier, have less depression, and less stress.  There are financial benefits as well.  From having a larger income to a larger pool of available workers to a greater possibility that a family member will have the skills to fix things themselves rather than having to hire the work out.  (VanDenBerghe, Elizabeth and Hawkins, Alan, J., The Warm, Happy Marriage: Cold, Hard Facts to Consider).

The main arguments I hear from people who are anti-marriage run along these lines.
1.      It’s simpler not to have to worry about anyone but myself.
2.      It’s less expensive.
3.      If I live alone, I can clean and things will stay clean.
4.      No one will be around messing up my stuff, things will stay where I put them.
5.      I just don’t want the hassle of dealing with all the drama a family would bring.

All of these things may be founded in truth.  In fact, there may have been fleeting moments in my life when I have thought some of these things to myself.  But these arguments don’t account for the wonderful joy, warmth, and companionship marriage can bring to us.

There is nothing quite as satisfying as the unity and intimacy that can develop between a husband and wife.  There almost becomes a secret language that can be spoken by simple glances and smiles that speak volumes.  If someone asks a question, I can look at my husband and know exactly what he is about to say, and why.  He can tell you exactly what I would want to do if I suddenly found an extra half hour of free time.  Often my husband knows better than I do what will help me to relax and unwind after a stressful week.

The emotional support and strength marriage partners receive cannot be denied.  There have been many times over the past few years that I have wondered if I am making the right decision to pursue my bachelor’s degree while working full time and attempting to care for my family.  It never fails that when things are the toughest, my husband steps in to remind me of the bigger picture.  He helps me remember the reasons we felt this is the right decision at this time for us, and tells me about all I will lose if I give up now.

I know though, that if I decided that I really did want to quit, he would fully support me in that decision.  His only wish is for me to find happiness and peace.  He trusts me to know that I will make the decision that is not only good for me, but for our family.  And that confidence in me gives me an inner strength to carry on and do hard things. 

Marriage also gives me a way to serve.  It gives me the opportunity to sacrifice my selfishness for selflessness.  It creates a depth of character that can’t be developed by living alone.  Marriage both tests and strengthens my patience.  Yes, marriage has its tough times, but it also brings greater peace and joy than anything I have ever found.

So for those that think they don’t want to marry, I say okay.  Maybe not now.  But hopefully someday.  Because without it, you’ll be missing out on the most rich part of the life.  It’s like the difference between a life of all black and white vs a life full of color.