Prayer Changes Everything

One of my recent assignments for my class on marriage included an essay on prayer in marriage by BYU professor Nathan M. Lambert.  Reading this work and pondering on the concepts taught here has helped me to recall many times and ways my own marriage has been sanctified through prayer.  Honestly, there have been lots of times when I was my wits end about something and prayer changed my perspective and gave me the strength to hang on a little bit longer.  Professor Lambert says, “Drawing on the powers of heaven through prayer is a powerful resource available to couples that can make a good relationship better and can heal a faltering marriage.”  While I can attest to the healing power of prayer, I hadn’t given much thought to the boost prayer gives to a good relationship. 
 

In this essay, Lambert talks about some important ways that prayer can enhance our relationship with our spouse. 

1. “Prayer in the means by which individuals may invite God to play an active role in their relationship.” Nathan M. Lambert.  Some days, this might mean giving you the faith to stick with things but I think it is just as important in everyday, ordinary matters as well.  Inviting God into my marriage helps to fill me with charity.  It enables me to listen to my husband’s spoken and unspoken needs better.  As I try to listen to God’s voice, my focus turns away from myself and outward to my husband.  

 

      The more I focus on meeting my husband’s needs and caring for him, the more he does so in return.  Several times a day, I receive text messages from my husband to let me know he is thinking of me.  When we are apart for a few days for any reason, he is careful to call me and let me know he misses me.  When I have taken the time to invite God into my marriage, His spirit is able to pierce my soul and help me see that message as more than just the simple line or two of text that it is.  His spirit reminds me of the love my husband and I share, which lifts me up and helps me keep going. 

2.   The second Idea that Lambert shares is how prayer can change the importance we place on our marriage.  He says, “When people perceive something as sacred, it changes the way they treat it.”  This is true.  When I am praying for my marriage, I find that I tend to treat it as more fragile and precious than I otherwise would.  I take greater care in not causing offense by my words or actions and I am slower to take offense when it is offered to me.  Prayer helps us to see the godly traits our spouses have within them.  It can help to remind us what we fell in love with when it is hard to remember. 

3.   Prayer helps change our focus from wanting to be right to wanting to be happy.  Nathan M. Lambert shares, “Inviting God into the relationship through prayer can alleviate anger and restore harmony and cooperative goals to a relationship.”  There are times when it is important to stand your ground, but often in marriage it is easy to just get hung up on wanting to win.  The bad part about that is that in order for one person to win, the other one usually has to lose.  As a couple prays over their marriage, God can soften their hearts and change the desire from competition to cooperation. 

4.   A fourth way prayer enhances our marriage is through nurturing.  Russell M. Nelson taught, “Good communication is also enhanced by prayer.  To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.”  In prayer, we have an opportunity to focus on the things that we need and the things that others need around us.  I feel comfort when I pray for my own needs, but hearing my husband pray for the things that I need is powerful.  Especially when he prays over things that I haven’t directly mentioned to him but that he knows are important to me.  I love hearing him pray for my success in school or at work because it shows that he cares about my concerns. 

On the reverse side, I also love praying for my husband.  I think it is very powerful for him to hear me praying for the things he holds dear.  Praying for him and his goals helps increase my desire to help him with his goals.  It brings those things to the forefront of my mind and makes it easier for God to impress upon me the little things I can do to help him be successful.

I encourage you to start praying for your spouse and for your marriage.  If you already invite God into your marriage, look for ways you can enhance your prayers for your spouse.  I promise that as you do, you will have God will bless your marriage.  You will have more joy and love and your ability to support each other will expand.